Another Day On The Path

My feelings are very turbulent at the moment, I just want to crawl into a ball and cry and not deal with the world. This mornings meditation helped a bit. It has only been six weeks since I moved out and I am still coming to terms with being on my own after being in a committed relationship for 17 years. I know I need time on my own and sort out many things.

I have been on a spiritual path most of my life and I see my submissive nature as a discovery of self and spiritual growth. The concepts of surrender and service are not foreign to me, I find a connection to the ALL and love when I am surrendering and being of service.

While I was surfing the web looking for answers I found many sites catering to the different BDSM fetishes and it took a lot of digging to find any kind of substance. One thing I have realized for myself is that there is a depth I am seeking in a relationship with a Dominant woman that I was unable to find in my previous relationship. I am very open with my friend and she sees everything about me. I want her to see my soul and I want to see hers as well. I look at the play and the games and I see two who if they so choose are learning to trust each other on a very deep level.  I keep coming back to the relationship is the core of what I seek in D/s. Can I let go and trust so much you see me as I am and as I do I will see your dominant spirit buring in you and then energy flows and two become one… lol

I’m a little bit of a romantic as well… lol

Sometimes I wonder if what I seek really exists or is it simply a fantasy and a dream I have of what maybe.

We all have our dreams and I knew I needed to go and seek mine.

My Goddess has told me to be strong in what I seek in the world,  strong for myself and strong and healthy in how I submit.

I am curious to who I will meet in this world and know from long experience that just like any other group, people will fallout all of the spectrum of human behaviour, I wonder if others think or see what I see or am I alone?

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