Detach With Love

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on November 22, 2009 by naturallysubmissive

Sometimes I care too much about people that are close to me and I can make myself nuts, being overly concerned. I hurt myself when I do this.  I can care and say what needs to be said then I need to let go.

Feelings

Posted in My Journey with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 21, 2009 by naturallysubmissive

The last few days have been an emotional turmoil for me, I have had lots of feelings come about my marriage, wife, the relationship with my Domme, a new friend and our relationship and where I am currently in my life.

I have been exploring the Lifestyle online since I left my wife and I have gotten a lot of new information and started to make new friends. I like what is happening, but over the last few days I feel like I need to back up a few steps, so much of what I am experiencing at the moment is very new to me and I’m not sure how to deal with it. Sometimes I’m not even sure I understand what is happening at the moment, other than I feel hurt and afraid and I do not want to hurt those I care about, because of my actions. Yet everything inside of tells me I need to keep walking down this path I am on.

I spoke with my friend today and she is feeling the same way.

I thought about poly many years ago and forgot about it until I met my new friend and now there is something happening where I feel drawn so strongly to both women, my Domme and friend. I’m confused, I’ve never done poly and there is an underlying current that pulls be to these two ladies, I know they are  part of my soul group. I feel a strong connection with both women.

I’ve spent a good part of the day meditating off and on and when I did a body meditation I could feel myself holding onto feelings and as I relaxed the tears started to flow.

Busy

Posted in My Journey with tags , , , , , , on November 20, 2009 by naturallysubmissive

The last month has been busy, I have a project at work that has been occupying a good bit of my time and it has a tight deadline, my part will be done in the next few days.

I have met some interesting people in the last few weeks and I am curious what I will discover as I get to know them. I have a dear friend that I have been worried about and she can occupy my mind. Funny how you can care about someone and feel so powerless to help them, so I keep letting go, praying she will be alright and try to focus on other things.

I met someone who plays with erotic energy and we have had some very interesting experiences, she has invited me to participate in a couple of rituals and the energy connection is intense.

I am realizing I need to find a balance with my friends and the things I desire to do for myself.

A Wounded Healer

Posted in My Journey with tags , , , , , on November 18, 2009 by naturallysubmissive

Because I have been hurt and I have know pain in my life and I have come to terms with it I can help someone else to heal. I know how to touch someone heart today and help them lessen their burden. I had people that did that with me and now I can pass on the gift to another.

Erotic Energy

Posted in My Journey with tags , , , on November 15, 2009 by naturallysubmissive

I had my first exchange of erotic energy last night and it was very new and different, I loved the afterglow and connection after wards.

Patience

Posted in My Journey with tags , , , , on November 15, 2009 by naturallysubmissive

Life is a lesson in patience, seems I keep learning this lesson again and again.

Another Reiki Session

Posted in My Journey with tags , , , , on November 14, 2009 by naturallysubmissive

Another friend ask me to send her energy and I was very surprised when I connected with her I could see her sexual energy flow and merging with her heart energy, I enjoyed touching it, it was very nice combination.  I have different experiences each time I give Reiki. The next day my friend told me she was horny all day. ~lol~ That was not my intention I made a point of focusing on her heart.

I know I was horny all day myself. We are going to see if we can connect this weekend and send energy to each other and see what shows up.