I’m happy, I spoke to Goddess today and we had a very long talk, we spoke about the rules I have now and She has given me a great deal of freedom to explore, She is very much appreciated.
The last month has been very good for me, it gave me time to reflect on many things. I have found an incredible peace within and a connection to myself. Journaling and meditating daily have been very helpful.
Surrender is my big word at the moment, surrender it all.
My therapist and I have been going over my marriage and one of the things he has mentioned a couple of times now is to become an astute observer of the obvious, when it comes to any future partner I am looking at getting involved with. He keeps telling me that for the most part people do not change their core behavior and when I look back upon my marriage I can see lots of patterns in my wife that were consistent through out the relationship, yes she may have changed for a time, but within a month or so things went back to same old same old.
I know I am willing to put in a lot of effort to make the relationship work and I want my partner to make the same commitment, it takes two people who want to show up and the invest time and effort to make a relationship work. I know I want someone who has a strong desire to grow for herself and can give of herself naturally and meet my needs and wants. I am not interested in a woman who only thinks of herself and not the man.
I feel very clear headed at the moment, its been two months since I left and I have been getting some good days back to back. All the writing, introspection and meditation have been helping a lot.
I did a lot of things right and a few things wrong, next time I will be a little bit better prepared. Pain is a good teacher one I need to pay attention to more often.
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